Maid Issues (5)

I have been missing for a while due to maids' issues!

One of maid was supposed to go back after the 2 years contract to attend her daughter's graduation. I have bought the first set of ticket based on the date as advised by her. Then, she said the graduation has been brought forward. I have to buy another set of ticket and told her that I will charge her for that. On 27th April, she missed her flight due to miscommunication with the taxi driver. We were really mad with the poor communication skill and only informed us when it was closed to the departure time and in actual fact, the taxi was early and waited for her outside the condominium. We thought we will sort out the fee/back charges later and bought her another set of ticket on 30th April. I am wondering whether the God is trying to test mine or her patient. Both of us misinterpreted the time and as a result of that she missed her flight again. I just wanted to get on with it and move on to enjoy the first public holiday break the next day, so I bought another ticket and she managed to leave on the same day in the evening.

With her 2 weeks off, I was supposed to have a back-up maid. The back-up maid came for a trial a day prior to my maid leaving for Philippines and decided not to turn up the next day without inform us. I have no choice but to make plan to go to work 1 hour late in order to get the kids ready for their school and come home from work 1 hour early to help up with the cooking and looking after the kids.

The maid supposed to come back on 14th May and on 13th May, she sms me that she was not able to come back as her 18 years old daughter is pregnant. She has to stay and take care of her. At that time, I was calm and decided that we have to move forward without her but was upset with the total loss I suffered on her 4 sets of air ticket, her just renewed work permit. 

For those with maid, this is an important procedure you need to know. If a maid run away or does not come back to work. The only way forward is to cancel her permit by lodging a police report and you have to pay a fine of RM750 (for Filipino, RM250 for Indonesian and Cambodian). If you cancel her permit, of course there will be no fine. The maid has agreed that she will post her passport back to me and I can cancel the permit accordingly. So I can avoid the fine and she can avoid being blacklisted by our government.

With the above episode ended. I offered my the other maid an increment and I still work on my adjusted hour basis. Things go well but I help up my in house chores and kids and I notice a big improvement of my kids behaviour. They are more helpful and not so pampered!  After a week, the maid told me that her husband wants her back by November upon expiry of her 3rd year contract. I have a long chat with her and she confirmed she wants to go back.

My headache starts all over again. I am not willing to fork out another 10K to hire another maid. Live in/out part time maid or chinese nanny is my option.

One of my blog follower suggested advertise in www.olx.com. While I was browsing the website, I found this filipino girl looking for job as her expat employer has to leave the country. I met up and interviewed her and really like her. At the same time, she is attending to few interviews too and some are willing to offer her higher price. I was really hoping she would choose me.

Then, come last week, the maid now said she wants to continue working but wanted to go back for 2 weeks in November and the new maid has made up her mind and willing to come work with us. Now I am struggling to make decision between the old and new maids.

Old maid:

• will she return if I let her go
• People always said old is better than new. Is it truth? Better the devil you know?
• She almost has no money left, she send most of her money back home each month as the family is struggling so I have nothing to hold back.

New maid:

• Is she going to be good, good enough for my children?
• is my children going to like her?
• Is this unfair to my children since they get on so well with my current maid?

Tonnes of questions in my mind but most office colleagues and friends voted for the new maid. In order to give it a go, I have suggested the new maid to come over on Sundays to spend some time with us and the kids and will decide from there.

What do you think OLD or NEW?

She is Pregnant

AB, she is in her mid 30's and has been married for 1 1/2 years. She contacted me via email and seeking advice about IVF and the doctor. That happened maybe 8-10 months ago.

I remembered there was this occassion. I was having Satay with my brother's family in Kajang and next day, I received an email from her asking whether I was in this location at that time, that actually freak me out a little bit like how she knows and we never met! She spotted the kids and similarity of the photos that I posted on my blog. I asked her why did she dropped by and say hello, she said she was shy!

And then, she went missing for months!

She contacted me recently and announced that she is 8 months pregnant! And here is her story.

She went for her first ever check-up before contacting me but the doctor was not able to detect both of her fallopian tubes. Then, she realised the way forward will be IVF or IUI and that is how she found my blog.  Doctor suggested her to carry out HSG and on the day, when she visited the doctor about the result, the doctor said can't see the tubes, she will need surgery and she told the doctor she has missed her period. Doctor then did a scan and spotted the little beating heart! She is pregnant.

So now still puzzle her so much is like even the doctor advised that she need surgery and how can she get pregnant! Doctor just said forget about it and let's concentrate on the baby. I will agreed with doctor 100%. Just relax, enjoy your pregnancy and soon to enjoy your motherhood.

I once read a blog about this lady who has been trying to get pregnant for like years. The making love part  has become like a homework and no more fun left. She is a Christian and the mother in law is not. Once the mother in law said to her " Come, let's go temple with me to pray to my God, your God is not helping you, maybe my God can help". I find this hilarious but I believe it happen to so many of us and not just her!!

Formulated Milk Powder - Constant search for Good Deal

I am all up for good value of formulated milk powder. People should understand my position with 3 very young kids. The milk powder could cost you a bomb!

It was through my friend's recommendation that I started to give my first born 'Enfalac' infant milk formula. My friend's sister was working with Mead Johnson and was entitled to 'staff' discount. So, I usually will get like RM10 discount in comparison to the normal market price. So everything was cool then, until I have the twins and my friend's sister was no longer working there. I struggle with the  thoughts of changing to a cheaper brand of milk but Dr. Prashant advised me to stick to the same brand for the twins.

Again, God was great to me and my friend helped me to get cartons of sample of infant milk for free!!! My daughter who has enzyema problem and has to consume 'HA' milk and again my friend and a paediatrician was kind enough to sell me the sample for RM10 which in normal market price is RM30+++. So, I sailed through the kids's first year with discounted or free milk formula.

I have the shock after their first year and all of them are consuming Enfagrow A+. There is no doctor, friend, paediatrician there anymore to help me to get any discounted milk or samples. The 3 of them can consumed up to RM1000 worth of milk formula! Shocking amount to pay just for milk, right?

I have no choice but have to keep a constant look out for milk and stock them up when there is promotion. I remembered last year's Enfagrow A+ cost around RM85-89 (after like 2-3 times of price increased!) and I managed to stock up when Tesco was having promotional price like RM79, those stocks last me like 3-4 months. You can imagine the price I have to pay at that time to stock up!!

And came this year, the price has increased up to RM106 for 1.7kg. During promotion, the price could be around RM98.99/tin. I was lucky at the beginning of this year that Carefour and Tesco was having promotion for this and I managed to get like 4 cartons and cost me RM89.99/tin and I still have some balance of stocks.

On last Saturday and Sunday, Tesco again is having a promotion and the price was RM89.99/tin and again I managed to get 3 carton and my eldest boy is turning 4 next week and he will be changing to Enfakid A+ and I managed to get a carton for that for RM82.99/tin. So, I am stock up (hopefully) till August this year!!

However, as the children grow older, the milk consumption drop too, maybe to RM400-500 a month.

I know of a website that selling cheaper 'Enfa' milk in comparison to the market price. If you are interested to buy in bulk, do check this up :Cheap Enfa milk

Children cost the majority of our household bill with their:-

1. Food 

2. Milk

3. Education + Transportation

4. Food supplement (vitamin and etc.)

5. Maid to look after them!!

6. Doctor's visit

7. Toys! mainly 'Junk' too

8. Etc.

Maid Issues (4) - Facebook Group

My blog reader has recently invited me to join a group called 'Maid Stories' in Facebook. I have read the topics and stories. Quite a informative group with information like 'horror' and 'good' stories, market prices of maids, illegal maids, maid behavior, maid agencies and contacts of maids.

Do check it up if you are interested and there are some 'blacklisted' maids too and hope you do not have one of them in your home!!!

Is it okay to hug your child immediately after disciplining?

22 November 2010

After I spank my child, she usually wants to hug me and make up. I don't feel good about that because I need to show her my displeasure at what she's done. That's why I continue to be cool to her for a few hours. Do you think that is right?

I think it is very important after punishment to embrace the child in love.That is the time to assure her that it was the misbehaviour that brought your disapproval, rather than your dislike for her personally. It is also the best time to talk about why she got in trouble and how she can avoid your displeasure in the future. It is the “teachable moment”, when the object of your discipline can be explained. 

Such a conversation is difficult or impossible to achieve when a rebellious, stiff-necked little child is clenching her fist and taking you on. But after a confrontation has occurred - especially if it involved tears - the child usually wants to hug you and get reassurance that you really care for her.Many parents, like you, say they feel awkward showing affection after punishment because they've been upset with the child. I think that is wrong. 

It's best to open your arms and let that youngster come.

This article was written by Focus on the Family Malaysia (www.family.org.my) and the Questions and Answers are extracted from “Complete Family and Marriage Home Reference Guide” by Dr James Dobson with permission.

Recent School Holiday Activities

Do parents feel guilty if you do not make plan to spend sometimes with the children when they are on school holiday. 

When we were kids and stayed in Kampung, we only stayed at home helping our parents with their house chores or laid around do nothing or ran around in the kampung/bushes with our neighbours' kids. Of course, I must acknowledged that we are leaving in a totally different generation now. Parents do all sort of things now day for their children such as taking them to the theme park, balik kampung, travelling or doing some Eco friendly activities like going to the park, having a little picnic and do a bit of cycling or jogging or walking around.

Some children are so used to travelling on each school holiday with their parents. I once heard a very sad story about neighbour's kid asking his mum that he would like to go to Australia as all his friends in school are going to all over the world for holiday and unfortunately, his parents can't afford to do that. Does this sound sad, do we spoilt our kids too much.

I always believe our kids should lead a moderate life and learn to appreciate things more. Educating them from young age is essential. We teach our kids to do some small chores themselves instead of rely on the maids like bring their dishes to the kitchen once they finished,  always say ' please' or 'thank you' and bring their worn clothes to the laundry basket, do not waste any food or do not take excessive food if they can't finish them and etc. I have seen some really spoilt kids and I hope not to bring my children in that manner.

Anyway, some how rather, the guilty feeling got to me and I took last Wednesday off to take them to the zoo. I was glad to see their smiling faces and the excitement when they talked to their father about the trip and the adventure.

The father felt guilty for not able to follow us to the Zoo and decided to take them to the Putrajaya Hot Balloon Show last weekend.

Many Faces of 'K'

Teacher in school said about K : I wouldn't say she is naughty, I would say she is cheeky!