TO GO OR NOT TO GO? IS THAT MEAN I AM A BAD MOTHER?

My husband has the air miles things accumulated and part of it will be expiring by end of this month. It is not easy for all of us to travel. It is like a major operation to pack 2 babies, 1 child and 4 adults' stuff and I termed it 'loading and unloading' all the kids into a car, out of a car and into a plane and out of a plan and it goes on onto all the transportation.

We went to Langkawi in May during my in-laws' visit. We went without the maids. The parent in-laws are already in their late seventies and early eighties, so we can't really count on them on babysitting. My sister in-laws helped a little bit but it is like a holiday to her, so we can't really push her to help much. Most of the time, my husband and I were stuck in the hotel room looking after the 3 kids. It was TOUGH! but we survived. Good thing was, by the end of the trip, my in laws sort of bonded with my children and my eldest son was able to play and let them carry. My in-laws stay in Ireland, we can only meet up in every couple of years and it is even difficult now with the 3 kids.

 So, I came out with the options of:-

1. all of us go (including the maids) to Langkawi or

2. 3 of us go (me, hubby and eldest son) go somewhere near e.g Cambodia, Bali or Thailand

Bear in mind that we have booked to go to Langkawi next February with Airasia's 0 fares. So, it is kind of silly to go there again. But we find going to Langkawi is easy, short flight and we know the place well. Penang is another option but travelling around there maybe a problem. Langkawi's car rental is cheap.

My hubby has really changed a lot for me and even became a better man after the children's arrival. His choice is either all of us go or I go with my friend shopping somewhere.

I like the idea of going shopping with my friend. I missed my Platinum Mall and Pratunam shopping in Thailand. 

I was delighted with the idea but has been struggling to decide to go or not to go. I have never left the children since they were born. I have so far, attended 2 wedding dinner and came home late. I missed the children and I cried during the dinners.

If I go, I am just going for 2 days trip, go in the morning and come back the next day afternoon. I have to apologise to my friend that I don't think I could go for 3 days and also to bear with me that I will cry too. Is that mean I am a bad mother? Leaving all my kids, husband and maids behind. 

So, the big question is should I go or should I stay? Please advise me.

If I were to go, I planned to go on 10th-11th of September. Appreciate experienced mummy out there for your advice.

First 'Together' Photo

It is very difficult to get the 3 children to take a photo together. Each time when we wanted to take a photo of them together, one of them will cry, kick-up a big fuss or the big brother will refuse and run away. I was surprise of them being so co-operative this time, maybe it was near their bedtime.

I definitely hope that we could get some nicer photos of them together or even the whole family.

Progress Photographs

For my next few postings, I will be gathering some of my 3 children's photos doing the same thing but at different time.

Here is some of the photos of them eating.

Kayley

Dylan

Jack

Thank you God for my 3 children

Jack

dylan

Kayley

The 3 of Them - Just Born

and 

now,

Jack

The Twins (Dylan and Kayley)

Maid Issues

Maid or no maid? I was a firm believer of not having a maid until the arrival of the twins. Both of myself and my husband used to share house works when that was just the 2 of us. The maid? We don't trust them, too many scary or horror story about them!!

When my eldest son arrived, I was exploring the option of babysitter or hiring a live-in Chinese maid. I am not the type of person who can stay at home and engage into this 24 hours, 7 days a week and 365 days job without any financial freedom and break. I have the experience of doing this for a month after the confinement lady left. I realised that I do not have the patient and became more emotional. My husband and I used to have a chat of our work, life and occasionally met up for a drink. Since I was babysitting at home the whole day, all I wanted to do when he get home is for him to take care of the baby, so I could prepare dinner (not even bother to be creative), shower and prepare the baby's milk bottle or do any balance of the house works. I realised this was not healthy for our relationship, I need to get back to work. I felt good after going back to work and look forward everyday to come home to see my husband and the baby and to cook for them.

OK. Here is my journey of trying to get a nanny or maid for my precious children while we are at work.  At first, I got my neighbour to babysit. My babysitter decided to become alcoholic less than 2 months taking care of my baby. Thank God, my son was in good health and not harmed. Appreciated my neighbours who have given the information about the behavior of the babysitter. I took my baby back and  decided to get a Chinese live-in nanny. At the beginning, I went through an agency to hire my very 1st Chinese nanny.

Some of you may not know such an agency exist, right? Here are the 2 agencies that hire out local Malaysian maid, mainly Chinese and some Indian.

1. Susan Domestic Agency 

• Location : Cheras and Jalan Pasar off Jalan Pudu
• Contact : 016-331 8040
• Charges: Agency fee - 1 month of the maid's salary. Maid's salary = RM1300-1600/month (depends on live in or not)

I got my first nanny through this agency. However, for whoever wish to engage their service, my advice is you need to be patient. The lady boss, she is a very loud, bad manner person. If you do not have the patient, you will not be able to even listen and talk to her any further. I was pre-warned about her attitude. So at the end I got my nanny.

2. Yee Ku 

• Location : Jalan Pasar Off Jalan Pudu (next door to Susan's)
• Contact : 012-609 1273
• Charges: Agency Fee - RM800. Maid's salary = RM 1300-1600/month

The agency will usually provide a 2 months warranty. If you are not happy, you could change. The live-in nanny will basically take care of the baby, cook for us and including doing the house works. They have to go on a break a day per week.

My 1st nanny has done an excellent job in taking care of my son but unfortunately she gone crazy after 8 months after I banned her from taking my baby out everyday to hawker/restaurant outside to have her meal. I was worried that my son or they could be a target of kidnapping or robbery.

With the short notice, I was desperate to get a replacement. I have called all confinement ladies listed in my previous blog and was hoping that 1 of them will be interested to work for me for long term, I wasn't ready to go back to the agency to face the very rude Susan and pay her a month of agency fee again. I did not come to know Yee Ku only till later.

Running out of luck, I resorted to China Press to see whether there is any more maid agency who provide Chinese maid. Then I noticed there are few ads looking for Chinese maid. I was desperate that I call to the persons who advertised and apologised to them that I did not want to apply for the job but would like to enquire them about the responds and their luck in getting the maid. The feed backs were good. All of them who advertised have managed to get a maid within couple of days.

So I called up China Press. The cost to advertise for 3 days was only about RM110. So I placed the ad. and within few days, I have received 7 calls and has arranged for the meet up/interview. So, I got my 2nd nanny finally and minus the agent fees. Yeah!

Then the 2nd nanny worked for us for about 13 months. When I knew I was pregnant with twins, I know I need to get a maid. No way my nanny is able to handle 3 children. Lucky enough, my brother suggested her formal Filipino maid and I managed to get in touch with her and she was willing to come over and work for me. I was not willing to get a stranger through agency to come and stay with us.

Then come another problem. My nanny was not able to cope with 3 children. She decided to quit but promise to do so till I get a replacement. Here we go again, maid problem!!! I think God has been very kind to me from the time I got pregnant. My maid sister is willing to come over and work for me.

So, now I have 2 Filipino assistants who have done an excellent job taking care my children and also the house is spotless clean but the cooking is not so good-la. 2 out of 3 is good enough for me. Priority is the children.

Confinement Lady

Confinement Lady is the person who cares for your baby and you after the delivery. You are supposed to be confined in the house for a period of 30-40 days so your body can recover properly. The confinement is to prevent 'wind' to get into your body so you would not suffered body ache and headache later. 

The confinement lady job scope includes :-

1. cooking . Most the diet will be of ginger, rice wine and traditional Chinese herbs.
2. Prepare bath water for yourself and baby. Some opted for traditional boiled herbs, some opted those easy herbal shampoo. But usually there is a restriction of time when you can wash your hair. Some of them will disallowed you to wash your hair up to a period of 1 month.
3. care for your baby e,g wash, clean, sleep and feed the baby. If you are first time mum, she will also teach how to care for your baby. If you allow them, they usually will sleep with the baby during the night, so you could have a good rest.
4. some minor house chores e.g cleaning, ironing and etc.

The charges are ranging from RM2800 to RM3500 inclusive of ang pow.

I have compiled a list of confinement ladies abstracted from forums and blogspots:-

• Kui Sia - 012-419 1528 (from Ipoh- willing to travel)
• Wan Jie - 012-388 6847
• Hua Jie -  012-367 8436
• Sally -016-375 3288 (from penang)
• Aunty Chin - 019-758 0034 (from Segamat-often travel to Singapore)
• Aunty Chia - 012-529 7236
• Ah Lin - 016-691 0517
• Ah Geok - 016-503 6387
• Man Jie - 012-217 2605
• Mui Cheh - 016-394 5709
• Siew Ling - 017-249 6998
• Har Jie - 012-931 8072
• Foong Jie - 012-438 0925
• Yook Jie - 012-687 2988
• Kam Jie - 016-340 8133
• Yoong Jie - 016-340 8133
• Yoong Jie - 016-624 0522/012-972 6072
• Ah Fong Jie - 016-220 0955
• Lan Jie - 03-4149 5217
• Wu Shen - 012-661 3114
• Ah Tai Che - 016-950 1123
• Aunty Ah Kiaw - 04-442 4489 (Sg. Petani)
• Coco - 016-287 1130
• Moi Cheh - 016-394 5709
• Agnes Cheang - 017-811 0072
• Wan Cheh - 016-397 5849
• Auntie Yin - 019-309 3218
• Madam Lee - 65-9853 1484 (Singapore)
• Esther - 012-692 5511
• Ah Ngor - 012-571 9040
• Pearl Ong - 017-613 5192
• Kam Cheh - 017-365 5301 (Trengganu)
• Catherine - 012-662 2795

Ladies with bad comments:-

• Jennifer - 012-2905 0170
• Eng Cheh - 016-5468 7777

I hope the list above would able to assist you in selecting a suitable confinement lady. There is also other option for you i.e confinement centre like:-

• Pei Ling, SS2 - 03-7877 8000
• SHL Care, Kepong - 03-6251 6133
• SN-Nanny, Sri Petaling - 03-9058 3693
• Feng Chai, Puchong-012263 5071

 If you have any experience of a good confinement, you are welcome to comment and add-on the contact to the list above.

Jaundice in Newborns and Treatment

Jaundice in Newborns

The cause is a yellow bile pigment called bilirubin, which is carried in the blood and deposited in the skin, mucous membranes, and sclera (whites of the eyes). The result of these areas of the body turn yellow. The 2 common causes are an immaturity of the baby's liver and blood-group incompatibilities (less common).

More than 25% of all healthy, full term newborn become slightly jaundiced, usually on 3rd or 4th day after they are born. In premature babies, the incidence is higher.

The level of bilirubin can be determined by blood test.  Asian tends to have higher bilirubin level.  

The Treatment

In mild or moderate levels of jaundice, by 1 to 2 weeks of age the baby will take of the excess bilirubin on its own. For high level of jaundice, phototherapy treatment with a special light that helps to alter the bilirubin and make it easier for baby to get rid of it.

More frequent feedings of breast milk or supplement formula helps infants pass the bilirubin.  

My experiences

All the 3 of my babies have jaundice when they were born. There are a lots of myth about preventing jaundice in new born for example drinking coconut water, do not eat fruits like papaya, banana and etc. I have seen this advices in some of the forum/discussion among the mothers but it worked for some but generally, they do not worked for the rest.

My eldest

My eldest son was born with high jaundice level. The doctor in Pantai was nice to recommend me the home photo therapy. We have the option of staying in the hospital, including myself so my baby could be breastfed. The benefit of the home photo therapy is definitely cheaper and I got to rest at home.

If you were to stay in a private hospital, say, for 3 days, I think the bill will come close to RM3,000.00. As for the home therapy is only RM375 which inclusive of delivery, setting up, collection, rental for 3 days or less and consumables e.g eyes patch and plastic liner.

The service is provided by HOME PHOTOTHERAPY SERVICES SDN BHD (Tel: 03-7957 8137 or 012-395 1311).

My daughter

One of the twins,  has mild jaundice. She was allowed home and I went home with her so I could breastfeed her. In the morning, the confinement took her down for a walk and exposed her to sunlight and the jaundice dissapeared after a while.

My youngest son

The other twins has extremely high jaundice, partly also due to his G6PD deficiency problem. I have no choice but to leave him in the hospital to undergo photo therapy and resorting to formula milk. It was not possible for me to run around between hospital and home and to try to breastfeed both.

Thank God, his bilirubin level dropped tremendously the 2nd day and we were able to bring him home.

I felt a bit sad when we were home with just 1 baby. The day doctor allowed us to bring the him home, I felt so happy that we are finally home as a whole family.

Polo Girl Top and bottom set -SOLD

POLO baby girl top and bottom set for Sale (Last Set)

(suitable for 6-12 months old)

Selling Price : RM 35/set RM32/set

(courier delivery charges : RM 6.00) FREE DELIVERY




SOLD

Dr. Prashant Nadkarni

I have come to realise that they are quite of numbers of people who visited my blogspot was via the key words of 'Dr, Prashant Nadkarni' and his success rates.

If you are looking for the above, I guess you are seeking infertility treatment. I was also in the same position as you, eager to know the person and the success rates. The treatment is not cheap and you just want to make sure the money is well spent.

My personal opinion, Dr. Prashant will be the right doctor you look for if you are financially capable. Like I said in my previous blog about the doctor, I have visited so many gynaecologists and infertility specialists, I was glad that I have found or got introduced to Dr. Prashant at the end. 

From my experience, others doctors or specialists tend to be very commercial or not so experienced. I was asked to try this and that all these years. I remembered very well my first visit to Dr. Prashant, he was so straight to the point that I have problem and I need to get rid of the problem (cyst) before I should try anything else. I wish previous doctors/specialist could have advised me so that I could have save the time and money.

Some of my other friends also have the same experiences like me, they were asked to do this and that by other doctors. By then, their husbands already got so tired and has refused to go for any other sort of consultation or treatment.

If you have decided to visit Dr. Prashant, you need to be patient, financially capable and willing to scarify your time. Even with appointment made, there is always long ques. The waiting sometimes will take hours. So if you are thinking of going to see him during lunch time, you may end up not able to go back to work anymore.

So, for those out there who is undecided of to go or not to go, I would suggest you go, at least once. Just treat this as a diagnosis. So, you know where you stand, what is your problem and then you decide whether or not to continue seeking his advice.

By the way, I have just got a good news from my friend, who is already 42 and has successfully got pregnant after the 2nd IVF trials with Dr. Prashant. Yeah, another success rate!!! So happy for her!

Good luck to you.