TO GO OR NOT TO GO? IS THAT MEAN I AM A BAD MOTHER?

My husband has the air miles things accumulated and part of it will be expiring by end of this month. It is not easy for all of us to travel. It is like a major operation to pack 2 babies, 1 child and 4 adults' stuff and I termed it 'loading and unloading' all the kids into a car, out of a car and into a plane and out of a plan and it goes on onto all the transportation.

We went to Langkawi in May during my in-laws' visit. We went without the maids. The parent in-laws are already in their late seventies and early eighties, so we can't really count on them on babysitting. My sister in-laws helped a little bit but it is like a holiday to her, so we can't really push her to help much. Most of the time, my husband and I were stuck in the hotel room looking after the 3 kids. It was TOUGH! but we survived. Good thing was, by the end of the trip, my in laws sort of bonded with my children and my eldest son was able to play and let them carry. My in-laws stay in Ireland, we can only meet up in every couple of years and it is even difficult now with the 3 kids.

 So, I came out with the options of:-

1. all of us go (including the maids) to Langkawi or

2. 3 of us go (me, hubby and eldest son) go somewhere near e.g Cambodia, Bali or Thailand

Bear in mind that we have booked to go to Langkawi next February with Airasia's 0 fares. So, it is kind of silly to go there again. But we find going to Langkawi is easy, short flight and we know the place well. Penang is another option but travelling around there maybe a problem. Langkawi's car rental is cheap.

My hubby has really changed a lot for me and even became a better man after the children's arrival. His choice is either all of us go or I go with my friend shopping somewhere.

I like the idea of going shopping with my friend. I missed my Platinum Mall and Pratunam shopping in Thailand. 

I was delighted with the idea but has been struggling to decide to go or not to go. I have never left the children since they were born. I have so far, attended 2 wedding dinner and came home late. I missed the children and I cried during the dinners.

If I go, I am just going for 2 days trip, go in the morning and come back the next day afternoon. I have to apologise to my friend that I don't think I could go for 3 days and also to bear with me that I will cry too. Is that mean I am a bad mother? Leaving all my kids, husband and maids behind. 

So, the big question is should I go or should I stay? Please advise me.

If I were to go, I planned to go on 10th-11th of September. Appreciate experienced mummy out there for your advice.